Our Cynic-In-Residence, Max Cameron, has some bones to pick with the music industry. Besides the lack of decent 80’s synth usage in rural recordings of news, there are a few things about the industry that are grinding his gears. He’s got so much to say, in fact, that we’ve broken his diatribe (rant) into 3 parts. Let’s have it, Max!
Part 1
These Summer Jams Suck
Am I the only one EXTREMELY disappointed with this year’s selection of summer jams? The best that the suits could do this year was “Blurred Lines” and “Get Lucky”. I’ve tried several combinations of substances that I was able to shove into my body to get these tracks to sound good, but alas…all I was left with was a hollow shell of a pop song with pandering influences to the late 70’s golden age. I blame Pharrell, whose laziness and lack of originality seeps into both productions. I remember when we heard that first fifteen-second snippet of “Get Lucky” after the SNL promo ad we were all kinds of pumped up. Well, I know I was. Then once Pharrell regurgitated his overly simplistic melody with his mediocre falsetto on top of what could have been a good record, we are now left with nothing more than the kind of song that would better sound arranged for a class of 3rd graders for their end-of-the-year school play.
I’m sorry, I’m just so mad. It’s not that these songs are bad, they were pretty good for a while even. However, they do not warrant the fat check that Clear Channel sent out to every damn radio station to keep these songs playing back-to-back until the Fall equinox. Let’s all pray that we get another jam by Calvin Harris or Tyga for 2014. The best thing that could come out of this situation is that some young listener to KISS-FM, probably some 12 year old, will Google ‘Daft Punk’ (because this is probably the first they have heard of them), and illegally download “Homework” and hear some legit house music for the first time. I envy that 12 year old. I hope that it takes him or her on a long journey down the path to discovering new and interesting music so that they might too look back on this sonically boring summer.
Stay tuned for Part 2…
–Max Cameron